Change! :(

so just when you think that you are finally adjusted and you are excited about being normal. it seems like life throws you a curve ball. i was sitting in the fireside on sunday and i felt like i had somehow since my mission dropped the ball. i felt like alot of the things in my life were going great and that i was doing amazing and then Elder Ballard said something, or it may have been the spirit, but it said, do you know christ? 4 months ago i would have undoubtedly say with resounding enthusiasm YES!!!! but as i was sitting in that comfy chair in the CAC i couldn't say that. in the past couple of weeks i feel like i have forgotten who my Savior is. like i don't really know him, how did it happen? how did i go from knowing him so deeply that just the thought of his name stirred my heart. to not even really thinking about him.



so that has been the subject of thought the past 2 days and i realized its me... thats what happened. i started worrying about little insignificant things and not doing the things that i know i should be doing. like a few nights ago i didn't say my nightly prayer. i just kinda talked/ mumbled to him right before i checked out for the night. thats not a prayer! and my scripture reading! thats been even worse... I'm still in 2 Nephi of my reading and i have been reading since august! its interesting i remember a scripture that i came across on my mission that that said something like; what seperates us from the love of Christ, or in my case what makes me forget who Christ is.. i can't remember the scripture but the moral is NOTHING seperates us from the love of christ. its always there its just what we do that invites us to be able to feel the love that is there. so i changed in how much i learned about Christ. in how much time i spent thinking about him and getting to know him. so now that i have figured out what is wrong with me, now i gotta figure out how to change it. how do you do that? thats the question of the day/week/month. however long it takes me to figure it out. which may end up being a life time... wow thats a really long time being lost. well... thats the thoughts of cami, hope you enjoyed it nate :) and any insights would be very much appreciated. :)